I feel bad about my neck

I don’t mind my neck. It’s a fine neck. In fact, I never think about my neck except on the occasion I see a side-angle photo of myself, in which case I’m aghast at the connecting shape between my chin and collarbone. It’s not quite doubled, but it’s soft and rounded like a lazy curving road […]

What am I thankful for? ‘Murrica.

Hey hey, ya’ll. Me, my husband, and my fake husband will be tromping on up the East Coast for some pilgrim-inspired feasting this week. You know what Thanksgiving reminds me of? Elementary school. It reminds me of all those times they dressed us up in three-cornered hats and we did stilted versions of “stone soup”. […]

My Imaginary Husband

Today, I’d like to tell you all about my imaginary husband. He looks like this: He’s simple-minded, annoying, controlling, emotionally distant, and only vaguely lovable. — Wait, wait, wait… didn’t you ACTUALLY get married? Was that whole post bullshit? Why yes, astute reader. I DID get married. To a lovely man, who is none of the […]