What am I thankful for? ‘Murrica.

Hey hey, ya’ll.

Me, my husband, and my fake husband will be tromping on up the East Coast for some pilgrim-inspired feasting this week.

You know what Thanksgiving reminds me of? Elementary school.

It reminds me of all those times they dressed us up in three-cornered hats and we did stilted versions of “stone soup”.

This is exactly what happened, right? (Sidenote: why the hell did no one offer the Native Americans a chair? And that woman in the back corner looks like she’s lecturing the Native American woman, whose all like “Bitch, please.” …. In other words, I ❤ this painting.

Do schools still do that?

Its the strangest holiday, as most Americans have only vague notions that it traces to starving English settlers being saved by the generous bounty of Native Americans, yet in reality no one can agree on the historical precedent.

But its cool, because we don’t really need to.

Because pie.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, as it is with most people, because the sole purpose is to celebrate the autumn harvest, hang out with family, and be grateful for it all.

Its a rare homage to old America’s agricultural roots parlayed into a display of modern Amurrica’s overabundance of everything.

I am often embarrassed by my country’s excesses, given that I and most other citizens ended up in this affluent country solely by winning the birth lottery, so its hard not to feel guilty that we are fat and cozy while so many people are poor and suffering.

However, ceremonial feasts are as old as time and are routinely celebrated throughout the world to varying degrees.

And here, our annual feast is about giving thanks, not feeling ashamed.

So with that in mind, this Thanksgiving I will be grateful for my luck and hope that someday we’ll live in a world where everyone can have so much.

I will also be grateful for pie.

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